I realize I am not the most knowledgeable or experienced on this subject...At the writing of this, I am currently on my third pregnancy which will be only my second birth...but I wanted to share what I do know, and perhaps someone will benefit from it.

Feel free to email me with any additional info you'd like to share with me!
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My advice to you, if you are wanting to conceive for the first time, is twofold:

1. Educate yourself-educate yourself-educate yourself.
Parenthood is the hardest job you will ever have. I know you hear this all the time...but please don't dismiss it. And yes, parenthood is also the most rewarding job you will ever have. But it is not something one should rush blindly into, ever. Once you're a parent, there's no going back. Your life is changed FOREVER...so please PLEASE research this fully and never jump into it just because you have "baby fever" (which is not a reason alone to do this). Everyone wants a baby when they are cute and cooing and being happy little bundles of joy...but the flipside is equally a reality and babies cry and cry a lot (this is a survival skill given them by nature...its what they were designed to do and our job is to respond to it, by nurturing and caring.) and are very demanding and time-consuming and you need to be prepared to deal appropriately with both sides of the story. And also, babies grow up. Its important to remember that this is the toughest job in the world, but also the most important because most everything you do with that child will be reflected in that child's personality and life in adulthood. You are truly building the future. If you or your life is screwy already, remember that you do not have the right to screw up another's (the child's.) Children have the right to be born into a family that is loving and ready to care for them. That said, none of us are perfect, but educate yourself and do the best you can by obtaining the resources you need to do this, make sure you are truly ready, and no one could expect more of you. I'm not talking financially, because honestly, I wonder if any of us are ever truly ready financially...I'm talking emotionally and physically ready and prepared to deal with all that parenthood will entail. If you or your partner have any doubts, WAIT.
2. Make sure both parents-to-be are fully wanting to become parents.
Its not a good idea to become a parent because your partner wants to. As Dr. Phil, who I only agree with about half the time, but agree with him on this one, says: (paraphrased, can't remember it exactly) It takes 2 "yes"'s to have a baby...One "no" to not. If one of you does not want this, you should not be doing it now. Wait until both want it. Because yes, he or she might "come around", but is it worth the risk if he or she doesn't? Its not fair to that child to not have 2 willing parents. And parenthood is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life...even for those who want it with every fiber of their being, and who are prepared (as prepared as you can be)...If one of you goes into this not wanting it, that can create a nasty environment for that little one who deserves so much better than that. Now of course if you have a partner that will never want to become a parent and you do, you have a whole 'nother dilemma. That will be something you have to decide which is more important to you...waiting to see if s/he comes around over time, or moving on. That's a tough one.

After all that...if you and your partner are truly ready...here's some great info for ya!

The TTC "Bible"
First and foremost, I have to tell you about the most incredible book to help you on this journey to conception and subsequently motherhood. Whether it's your first time or your fifth, if you haven't read this book...I HIGHLY recommend it. It really is fascinating and will teach you more than you ever thought possible. I really thought I understood how my cycle worked...I'm an educated woman, I read a lot, I know how sex works, I know how my menstrual cycle works. Nope, I THOUGHT I did, until I read this book. This is really an eye-opener and I just can't say enough about it, so here's the book: Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. Best book you will ever buy on this topic, in my opinion. Most everyone on the message board I frequented when I was TTC was also using the TCOYF book as their guide, by the way, and I've run into people all over that follow it, plus its hard to get in bookstores since it flies off the shelf, so its very popular! And there's a whole online community of women discussing this book all the time that will tell you the same thing. Toni also has a TCOYF website where you can learn more about FAM (Fertility Awareness Method), purchase Ovusoft, a fertility software program to help you chart your cycle, and meet people in their online community. This community was, I believe, created after I conceived my daughter so I never participated in it and couldn't tell you first hand what its like. But judging by the number of posts, it looks pretty darn active! Might be a nice place to make some new friends!

Support Groups
While we're on the subject of online communities, this would be a good time to share with you where I found a lot of friends and support through the whole TTC and later pregnancy period. I found the Deciding to Try board on ivillage.com to be very supportive and fun place to be during the exciting and sometimes frustrating days of TTC. At that time (late 1999/early 2000) we had a group of women that would all jump in and answer questions about charting and how to interpret charts, hold their breaths for each other when someone posted they were testing, sighed disappointedly when tests came back negative, rejoiced loudly when they came back positive and many moms-to-be came back after graduation (pregnancy) and reported on their pregnancies and subsequent births and children. It was a very fun and welcome place to be. They have since changed the format on those boards and of course I doubt if there's anyone there anymore that I know (gosh I hope not! Hopefully they've moved on to the parenting boards by now!) But I had some really neat experiences there and was quite addicted to that board! There are lots of other similar boards out there, though, so don't rely on this one if its not a place you feel good about...there's a lot more online communities that I'm sure will give you similar support. Here's some more that I found and have had recommended to me:

Fertility Boards at Baby Corner
Babyzone Fertility Boards
 

Please <a href="contact.htm">email me</a> if you have another message board to share here.

Well I think that's a good start for info for TTC...as I find more things to share, I will include them here. If you have any info to share or questions to ask, feel free to <a href="contact.htm">email me</a> anytime!